The Sixth Sense

I was watching this movie called "The Beaver" the other day in which the lead character was so obsessed with a puppet in his hand that he had to cut his hand off to get rid of the puppet. It triggered off a series of thoughts in my mind - thoughts about me and the camera..

Recently, I was on a train coming back from work and I overheard a couple of guys appreciating the sunset. I could see what they were talking about. It was a very beautiful sight and you had to be there to feel it. But instead of being happy, I was annoyed. Annoyed because I did not have my camera to capture it.

And on watching the movie, I realized what I was actually getting into.

I was not feeling the moment.. I was just capturing it.. I was not looking at it now.. I saw it from the future.. I was not living the moment.. I was just turning it into a memory.. In the quest for pictures, I was loosing the "life" part of the moment..

A thin line separates passion and obsession.. And I was crossing that line.. I was so obsessed with pictures that the camera had become an extension of my body.. I barely left home without it, and if I did, I would keep looking at things and wonder "Damn! This would have made such a beautiful picture." I wandered off on my own not just because of the passion, but because of an obsession.. An obsession to show that I didn't need anyone around me.. So, although I got good pictures when I was on my own, the pictures are all that I had..

Just when I realized this, I set off from home leaving the camera behind, with just a pen and my diary, at 11 in the night.. And as I write this, I sit at a nearby garden, on the slightly wet grass, under a street light..

I realize that I have other senses besides sight.. I SMELL the fragrance of earth, wet by rains.. I HEAR a few people talking and someone was playing the guitar far away.. and a few people flaunting their vehicles by speeding them on the empty streets.. I FEEL the grass, soft beneath my barefeet.. I TASTE the tea at a streetside tea stall..

And I can SEE.. I see a full moon in the sky.. I see the flowers in the garden.. I see everything beautiful around me.. Though this time, I use my eyes and not the viewfinder..

In my obsession, I had forgotten about things that made me happy.. I frowned so hard in concentration that I had forgotten to smile.. I was left so overawed by something that could have made a great picture that I had forgotten to breath..

Its little things that teach a lot.. You can choose to learn or ignore.. There is no such thing as capturing a moment.. You just live a moment..

So, does that mean I give up photography? No.. I still love clicking pictures and it remains a passion.. But I have started learning to live a moment before I could remember it as a memory..

The sixth sense had struck me.. They call it... Common sense.